Day 90: Failing the Domesticity Challenge

Well, as you can probably gather from my lack of posts this month, it has been a busy one. The honeymoon had barely ended before school began. And I, the new Mrs. Do-It-All started out strong.

But six weeks into school and three months into my marriage, I am falling behind on everything except grading papers. At least I have that.

Every night of the week, when I get home from work (late), I have a choice between laundry or lesson-planning, bill-paying or quiz-making. I usually choose to plan those lessons and make those quizzes because, well, my husband is probably slightly more forgiving than 30 middle-schoolers. And thank God for that!

He has been extremely supportive and suprisingly (sorry, hon) helpful - doing little things like taking his dishes into the kitchen and even washing a few of them every now and then. The other day he even put down "Wash the shower" on his to-do list; I haven't seen it happen yet, but it's on the list!

I'm very thankful for him, but I can't help feeling just a little bit guilty. Now, don't get me wrong. I've never been someone who thinks jobs are done by men and houses are run by women; I expect Brandon to do his share of the domestic duties. But we have established a system for getting things done. Generally, I'm in charge of everything that happens inside (and doesn't require a tool). So I do dishes, laundry, bills, and general house clean-up. Brandon is in charge of everything that happens outside. He does pool maintenance, flower-watering, filling-in of frog holes. And I get on his case really fast when he doesn't hold up his end of the bargain.

Sure, I have a valid excuse. I'm working from 7 am to 7 pm five days a week, and even throwing another 12 hours in on Sundays for good measure. If I could find the time to get my chores done, I certainly wouldn't have the energy.

I know things will eventually settle down and I'll get into a routine that holds more balance. But for now, I can't help feeling like a big domestic failure and a tiny disappointment as a new wife.

Day 75: Trash Cans and Deck Boxes

Brandon and I are both working long hours lately. I stay at school late on the nights when he won't be home anyway, and he has taken on some overtime hours lately simply to give me a chance to do that more often. On the weekends, I usually have to plan my lessons for the following week; and if I am caught up on schoolwork, I'm certainly not on housework.

Lately, there is always something. And the two of us are often frustrated by that. To have a just few moments where we could sit on the couch with the remote and a few snacks without fretting that we're losing precious time on work- or home-related chores...oh, that would be heaven!

Heaven is not, however, spending our one day off together (the one we get every 14 days) shopping for trash cans and deck boxes. Or shopping for anything for that matter (I HATE shopping!).

But life on earth isn't supposed to be heaven - even when you are living in the bliss of domesticity! And, sure, I would have rather spent Saturday cuddled up on the couch with my hubby than running all over all the Targets in South Florida with him; but either way, I would have been with him. That's what really mattered. And I'm learning that this is what marriage really is at its core - making not-so-special moments special simply by sharing them.